Why do men look? By Jared King

I’m still posting here thought it’s been awhile. Please welcome my guest blogger Jared. Let’s keep the discussion going while I get back in my blogging groove. ~Niki

Some scientists and psychologists will try to tell you that it is from millions of years of evolution. It is somehow tied to our physiological drive for multiple partners because males of our species sought out multiple partners over the entire history of our evolution. Multiple partners were sought out because it ensured survival of the species. It also meant power for the male.

Feminists would say it is just more evidence that you can’t trust men. If it has testes, transistors or tires, it will eventually fail you. Men merely desire physical pleasure and aren’t capable in most cases of having honest feelings. They just want to hop in bed with you because of their testosterone engorged brains make them want to do it.

Still, many men are their own worst enemy when it comes to tells in this area. A lot of guys admit that they look at other women, and many flirt shamelessly, because they enjoy getting sexually tensioned attention from other women, even if it is just all in their head. And others often undress women in their mind.

But, then again, all of these reasons make huge assumptions about the intention of the look, doesn’t it? That is where I diverge.

What if you happen to go an old church and see a beautiful mosaic? In that mosaic, you find a specific tile that you happen to enjoy the beauty of. You pause for a moment to appreciate its beauty, and then move on to looking at the rest of the tiles. Does that mean you are not acting true to the rest of the mosaic? I know, I know. We’re talking about women here, not art. There is a point, however.

Let us face the facts, however. Men can’t simply sew their eyes shut, and even if they did, they would still have a mind that could remember the sights. There’s a greater problem, or maybe I should say deeper truth here.

Among all the women on earth, I believe at the beginning of life, all are given some kind of gift of physical beauty. There are those out there who might contradict this, but I believe that it is merely because they are either too shallow to see it or because they aren’t gifted in finding beauty when it is sometimes surrounded by what is considered “abnormal” by cultural standards. Some women have gorgeous hair, some have fair skin, some have a beautiful form, others have well proportioned facial features, etc (some have a combination of these). To me, this is another expression of the beauty of God’s mosaic. God’s mosaic is expressed in different cultures, races, geographical locations, the universe, etc. You can see the Maker’s hand in everything. And that includes the beauty he gives to individual people. This truth also applies to men.

Be honest, ladies. How often do you look at a guy and say to yourself, “Wow, he’s handsome” or “I like his cheeks and his chin?”

Yet…is it wrong to do that? I don’t think so. And I hold that it is the same for men. We aren’t always sexually attracted to the women that we look at. I see many women every day that I think are absolutely gorgeous, yet I find nothing about them sexually attractive. I enjoy seeing their bright faces, and beholding God’s handiwork in all its glory in what and who they are. It is sheer pleasure in pure form.

Yet, there is always the other side of the coin. I see many women every day who I find beautiful who have sexually attractive traits, as well. What of them? Among the Beatitudes in Matthew 5: 27-29, Jesus says:

You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

This is a saying worth taking seriously…deathly seriously. And men have struggles (women too, see http://www.multnomah.edu/VOICE/1102/1102cover2.html and http://www.multnomah.edu/VOICE/1102/1102cover.html ). Eternal life is at stake here, and we need to beware the consequences of what we do. We need to take great pains with ourselves and ask the hard questions like, “Am I looking at this person with sinful intention?” and “Will I be tempted to sin if I look at this person?” Just the other day at the grocery store, I asked myself this question. I noticed a woman that I feared stumbling over (morally, not physically, I’m not that big of a klutz). I quickly turned my gaze and left the isle to depart for a different part of the store where I had other shopping I could do.

There was a time in my life when I couldn’t look at most women without stumbling, yet, it was a time that I invited to come. I became addicted to pornography by my own doing. I can’t tell you what a long road to recovery it was. It was a time measured in years that had to be taken day by day. But, if you’re out there, and you’re questioning everything I have to say because you’re still in recovering from it, take heart. You can recover. You can regain the ability to have innocent thoughts.

This brings us full circle. Why do men look? Maybe we should ask “Why do women look?” Or maybe, the most important question of all is the one asked day by day and moment by moment, “What is the intent of my heart right now?” With life comes danger. Risk is something that can not be avoided. Beauty can be perverted in many ways for evil intent. But when it is with the intent that the Lord desires for us, there should never be shame associated with it.

Finally, my brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.