Aha! I LOVE that story. I was hanging out with a group of my favorite teens when Mattie turned her attention to me and with a grin on her face, uttered those words. It was perfect girl-time conversation, and I always love the laughter when I get to the punchline – the line Benny used to ask me to marry him.

I love telling girls my story. They giggle in all the right places, understand that holding hands with fingers intertwined is completely different from holding hands the other way, and they get that dreamy, far away look in their eyes as they imagine what their story will be. It brings me great joy to recount the details of the beginning of “us”. It’s a beautiful reminder of the effort he made for me. He made me look good. He thought it all out and planned it carefully. He proposed in one of my favorite places with my best friends there as witnesses. It was the moment I knew for sure that he loved me for me, flaws and all, and 18 years later, he still does.

What about you? Does telling your story bring you sweet memories and peals of laughter? Did you celebrate with friends and family? Or were you like us – poor college students who didn’t have a clue about marriage, but naively pressed ahead, hand in hand? Are you inspiring others to dream about the possibilities in their lives by sharing your story? What was your punchline?

Here’s the quick version of our story: Benny told the story from the Bible about Isaac and Rebekah. Isaac’s servant was sent to find him a wife, but along the way there, he got nervous about choosing the wrong girl, so he made an agreement with God that whichever woman came to the well and offered not only him a drink, but offered to give his camels water too, she would be the one for Isaac. After talking briefly about our year long engagement, Benny told all of our friends that there comes a time in every man’s life when he has to ask that all important question. He got down on one knee, gazed into my eyes and said…

“Niki, will you water my camels?”

Just a quick note to let everyone know that I’m back! I had stepped away from blogging here while I went through an intense period of healing. I was going to start again last summer and the signs were there that it was about time to return, but I wasn’t ready. Now I am.

I am rebuilding this blog and will have new posts up in the next few weeks. What’s another few weeks after a year and a half, right? For now, please ignore the mess as I play with the layout, graphics, resources, etc.

Thank you to everyone who continued to check back, leave new comments on old posts, and encourage me to keep going. I am so grateful!

You can still find me over at my main website, www.nikinowell.com and on Facebook.

I believe this blog served it’s purpose, and I’m better for sharing the journey with you.

Thank You Again!

Jesus Loves You…This I Know

Craig and his friend and co-author Jason Harper, outdid themselves with Jesus Loves You…This I Know. The message they offer is one of the most misunderstood and often rejected phrases of our time. To believers, “Jesus loves you” has become a cliche. To those who don’t yet know Jesus, it’s offensive and unbelievable, after all, some of the people who claim to represent Jesus are sending a different message- a message that does not communicate love, but judgment and condemnation. Through their book, Craig and Jason share their desire to live a life compelled by love and share their passion to tell everyone that they are loved no matter who they are, what they’ve done, or what they do.

It is essential to show people that they can belong in your world even if they don’t act, think, behave, or believe like you do.

I was glad they wrote about the process of belonging before believing or behaving differently. The idea didn’t start with them, but with Jesus when he loved those whom people hated. He dined with tax collectors, accepted water from adulterous women, and met privately with a Pharisee who had questions. His encounter with people changed them and they behaved differently after they knew the belonging He offered them. What a beautiful picture of God’s grace and mercy.

The world divides. Jesus Unites.

Jason’s story “Water for the Thirsty,” had me simultaneously weeping and cheering “YES!” while Craig’s story about Jesus loving the religious – those who judge (and who happen to be those I tend to judge) hit me where it hurts. I wept some more, this time with a repentant heart.  Craig and Jason aren’t your typical Pastors, and their book is filled with stories of how their calling has brought them into community with unlikely friends and earned them hate mail from others.

Why should you read this book? Because it will challenge, inspire, and change you. Visit jesuslovesyou.net to download a pdf sample or audio sample, read what others think of the book, watch films, share your story, purchase the book, and more. Buy a copy for your brother or your best friend, then tell others about it and do your best to live the message. Find Craig and Jason on Facebook and Twitter. You can never have too many friends.

Other Books by Craig:

The Gutter: Where Life is Meant to be Lived

Questions You Can’t Ask Your Mama About Sex…

The Dirty Little Secret: Uncovering the Truth…

Starving Jesus: Off the Pew, into the World

Whoever said “Time heals all wounds” was an idiot. The only thing time does is pass. It’s what we do with time that makes a difference. It’s about making choices.

I choose NOT to be a victim. I choose to heal.

I choose NOT to live in the past. I choose to move forward.

I choose NOT to hate. I choose to forgive.

I choose to speak out and share my story so that others might find their path to healing.

I make some of those choices daily, and that’s o.k. I want to encourage people to speak up and get help if they need it, but I also want to be very clear that living in the pain of the past is not really living at all. It’s the opposite of living.  It’s camping on the doorstep of hell, watching life go on without you, and who wants to live there??

One of the healing choices I’ve made over the past few months is to not have any future contact with the abusive people in my past. One of them is getting out of prison soon, and one of them is a dirty old man who wasn’t changed at all by his short prison sentence several years ago. There are others, but these two are the most likely to try to contact me. One of them had the nerve to send me a friend request on Facebook.

Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation, a fact I wish I would have learned years ago. Forgiveness means acknowledging that I was wronged, but not holding that wrongdoing over the head of the offender. I choose to forgive, but I have boundaries in place so I can’t be abused by these people again. That is what makes reconciliation impossible for me. These men are repeat offenders and I can not give them opportunity to bring me or my family harm. I believe that people can change, but there’s been little indication of that with these men, and I refuse to camp on the doorstep of hell.

I choose to live.

And you can too.