Hello Drenda, and welcome to my blog. I’ve been anticipating this interview and I’m very excited to share your stories with the readers here. Because of the amount of questions and the nature of the answers, we’ll be splitting this interview into two parts. So let’s talk.
Can you tell me a little about your ministry and how you got started?
Piercing the Darkness started on New Year’s Eve 2000. We are still going to the same clubs as the first night. We’ve added several new ones and a couple of clubs have closed. The ministry was birthed after I heard Dan Betzer speak at a missions convention. He pastors in Ft. Myers Beach, FL. He told about a ministry in his church that goes to strip clubs. I called up the ministry leader and asked how/what she did. She told me the following story about her first night going in to the clubs:
She walked up to the stage as a girl was coming off the stage. She handed the girl a bag, and the girl said, “Are you an angel?”
“No, why do you ask?”
“Because I told God before I came to work tonight that if He were real to send me an angel tonight or I would kill myself when I got off work tonight.”
I knew at that point I had to go in to the clubs because how else would these girls ever know that there’s a God who still loves them and still has a plan and a purpose for their lives? They probably will never set foot into a church unless a friend keeps inviting them. So if they don’t go to church, we have to take the gospel to them.
That’s a great concept Drenda. God is already at work, but He uses His people to put a face on the love He has for them. I love that you took that first step in learning how you could become part of such a ministry. What fuels your passion for what you do?
Probably seeing that God still cares for these people, even though many of them have lives that are really messed up. He knows exactly where they are, and He cares enough about them to send in a bunch of “church ladies”. He wants them to know He still has a plan and a purpose for their lives – it’s not too late. I guess it’s seeing the Shepherd going after the one lost sheep. I never really understood that analogy/story until after a few years of doing this ministry and seeing God’s heart.
I imagine that for most people it would be a very scary experience to do what you do. Can you walk us through a visit to a strip club? What is it like? How do you feel while there?
We prepare the bags at a local church and pray over them before we go out. We could not nor would not do this without a prayer covering. We load up the van and take off down the highway. We go twice a month — once on Tuesdays, once on Fridays. The Friday night outreach is the newest addition. We started it several months ago when Kevin , one of our favorite managers, moved to a different club. We wanted to stay in touch with him so we added a separate night, and then there just happened to be some other clubs in the area…so we expanded.
At each club, we greet the valet/parking lot attendants and give them a bag. Then we give the cashier a bag and someone usually talks with her while the rest go into the club. I usually end up talking to the djays, managers and bouncers – catching up on their lives – while the team goes throughout the club and into the dressing rooms handing out the bags to the girls. There are some male patrons who request a bag. We always give them one.
We are always aware we’re in a place of business. We respect that. We don’t block entrances while talking to the girls. We don’t keep the girls from working. We talk or pray with them at their comfort level and within their time frame.
How do I feel while in there? At home. Yes, it’s weird. I feel comfortable. Don’t get me wrong. It’s still awkward seeing/hugging half naked girls. But I’m doing what I know I’m supposed to be doing.
It’s good to hear that you model respect for all you meet. I have found that to be a big door-opener when reaching out to the marginalized people in society. Being given respect can be a new concept for some who might have experienced “obnoxious Christianity” in the past, like only receiving respect after there is visible change in their lives.
I have to ask…What is in the gift bags?
Each bag contains a gift, an invitation to church (w/service times, map & phone #), a card with a phone number to call if they want prayer, a tract, an encouraging scripture, and chocolate candy. We’ve given the following gifts: a silver compact engraved with “You are special” or “You are loved”, picture frame, candles, photo album, eyeshadows, ceramic cross, scarf, handbags, nice writing pad, wallets, stuffed animals, etc. It’s hard to find 120-150 gifts that are the same. It creates too much chaos if the gifts aren’t the same because the girls will fight over them. We usually are able to get the gifts from the dollar store. We try to keep the total cost of each bag around $5.
On Christmas and Father’s Day we also give gift bags to the men. We give slightly more expensive gifts to the bouncers, djays and managers on these occasions because they have been so good to us throughout the year.
One gift that I’m the most excited about is giving the girls the book “Redeeming Love” by Francine Rivers. God blessed us so that we were able to purchase several hundred copies for less than $5 a piece. If you haven’t read this book, I HIGHLY recommend it. It’s based on the book of Hosea from the Bible, and it vividly portrays the unfailing, unconditional love of God and how He pursues us no matter where we go. We handed out 100 copies at the porn convention to the girls and to the female vendors. You can’t read the book without experiencing God’s love.
I have read Redeeming Love and it is excellent! That was a life-changing story for me as well and it is one of my favorite books. I buy copies when I can and give them to friends and family, asking them to pass them along after they’ve read them. That book gave me a clearer picture of God’s love for me. The gift bags are a great idea and I’m glad to hear you have friends who donate money as their way of joining your ministry . We’ll discuss a little later how others can also contribute to the gift bags if they’d like to.
This picture show the team praying with a dancer. What kind of follow-up do you do? Or do you let the girls contact you if they choose to?
We leave the contact up to them. If they need prayer, there’s a 24-hour prayer line. The number is in the gift bag. If they want to talk with us further, they will give us their number. We’ve had a couple of girls and managers call the church because they had the card from the bag.
When Kevin was shot in the face a few hours after we left his club, we visited him in the hospital. A few years earlier when his son had been set on fire and burned by neighborhood kids, we prayed. God answered, and the kid is a walking and baseball-playing miracle. We got to meet him one night in the club’s parking lot. Kevin said, “I want you to meet the church ladies who’ve been praying for you.” I don’t think there were many dry eyes.
I can see why. Meeting someone your prayers have had a direct impact on must be really rewarding, as well as the blessing of continued friendship with Kevin and the love you’ve shown him and his family. What do you think is the toughest thing about being involved with ministering to people in the sex industry?
The money. It’s hard for them to leave the “easy” money. Where else can a girl without a high school education or with a GED make that kind of money? On top of that, 98% of these girls have been molested/abused. And on top of that, to dance naked/half naked in front of strangers every night, you have to numb yourself so you have alcohol/drug addictions. So when these girls want to leave the business, they have a LOT of issues to deal with.
Can you share a story of someone you’ve met who has impacted you in a way that drives you or has changed you?
This is a tough ministry. You don’t give an altar call and hundreds come forward. Most of the time you don’t see any fruit. I know I’m a farmer planting seeds, but sometimes you wonder if you’re making a difference. A few months ago, Kevin (our favorite manager), got out of the business. He had been in sexually-oriented businesses for over 20 years. We’ve been praying for him for 8 years. Even when he was laying in the hospital after being shot in the face, I asked him if he was ready to get out of the business. He said, “No. This is all I know.” Three years after that incident he is OUT of the business. What an incredible answer to prayer! He’s working as a cook in a bar/grill. It’s located between a strip club and a swinger’s club. We see him on Friday nights. We added the club next to Kevin’s bar to our Friday night outreach so that we can continue to see him. We pray a hedge of protection about Kevin so that he won’t go back into that line of work.
When Kevin was still in the business, he would call and say one of his dancers was in trouble and needed to talk to us. He would put them on the phone, and we would talk to them and pray with them.
We had a Muslim club owner give us money because he believed in what we were doing. When his wife was having trouble with her pregnancy, he asked us to pray. We did. She had a good remaining pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby. The club owner thanked us for our prayers.
It’s things like this that keep me going.
Do you find your friends and family are supportive?
Surprisingly, yes. My parents, who are retired Assemblies of God pastors, go with me. My mom says that if it were her child in the clubs, she would want someone going in to tell her daughter that God still loves her, and it’s not too late. Several friends go with me. Co-workers give me money and are always encouraging me.
So you always have someone with you when you do this?
ALWAYS. No one goes anywhere in the club alone.
What does your husband think of this? Does he go with you?
Yes, he goes with me. He and my dad stay in the parking lot and talk to the parking lot attendants. My husband is very supportive. He’s there to encourage me when I’m fed up and want to shut down the ministry.
Side note: If any of you are single, don’t give up hope. I was 41 when I married for the first time. My husband is in a motorcycle ministry that ministers to outlaw bikers. In fact, that’s how we met. His m/c ministry was helping at an outreach I was leading to a low-income apartment complex. I’ve joined his ministry and go to the m/c rallies. Don’t give up. Don’t settle. Pursue God. When the time is right, He will bring the right person in to your life.
To be continued…
Join us next time to read how Drenda and her team deal with the male customers, critics, and preparing for big events like the porn conventions and other adult entertainment venues.
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